11 of the best bad Eurovision songs


So, many of them end up looking crazy and weird or maybe that’s just a point of view – maybe they’re acting totally sane, but the act is just lost in translation. We know as much as you do.

Anyway, here are 11 the most bizarre entries that went so wrong, that they’re actually right.

‘It’s My Life’, Romania, 2013

The year 2013 definitely had no shortage of male falsetto, but Cezar and his performance for Romania – took it to another level. It comes suddenly and even has some dubstep elements. He may be a very talented singer, but you simply don’t expect such a voice to come from a guy that looks like the lovechild of Drakula and Ryan Clark.

‘Dancing Lasha Tumbai’, Ukraine, 2007

Remember Verka Serduchka? Yes, Ukrainian entry – the performance left us all open-mouthed. It turned out that the performer was actually a Ukrainian comedian Andriy Danylko only dressed like a drag queen. That particular performance has stayed in our memory much longer than we like it; but it was internationaly funny. It all looked like a weird mix of Mrs. Doubtfire and a sci-fi set-up.

‘S.A.G.A.P.O’, Greece, 2002

And that Greek boyband – what’s that all about?! All dressed in some cyberpunk biker gear singing something about some password? My God, they ended up 4th! There have been some rumors that the choreographer they hired led the Greece economy to bankruptcy! But, that may be just evil tongues at work.

‘Wolves of the Sea’, Latvia, 2008

There are two types of modern day pirates: the much-feared Somalian criminals and the type that dream of performing to thumping bubblegum dance music on stage in Belgrade. The Pirates of the Sea fall into the latter category. Possibly a bit of an uninspired band name if there ever was one.

‘Genghis Khan’, West Germany, 1979

Think you’ve heard it all, do you? How about a musical celebration of the life of Mongolian warlord Genghis Khan? The genre of choice? Disco – naturally. We’ll let this one speak for itself.

‘Irlande Douze Pointe’, Ireland, 2008

Dustin the Turkey was apparently a big deal in the emerald isle, appearing on kids TV from 1989 to 2010. This performance, which includes an ad-libbing turkey over a thumping dance track, was voted to represent the country by the Irish public. If this is what being Irish is all about, sign me up for dual-citizenship immediately.

‘Party for Everybody’, Russia, 2012

Obviously, Eurovision is a contest without boundaries that should be open to people of all backgrounds – apart from these old Russian women. They should’ve stayed at bingo. They can’t sing in tune or in unison, or AT ALL. Don’t laugh though – that’s someone’s grandmother.

‘Euro-Vision’, Belgium, 1980

Telex is what happens when your dad decides to represent your country in Eurovision. I literally don’t think I’ve seen anyone who fits the ‘dad’ stereotype so well. It’s almost like they couldn’t be arsed writing anything decent either; it’s mainly the word “Eurovision” repeated over and over again. Wait for dat scarf flick at 1:06, and stay tuned for when he sprinkles confetti on the stage before pulling a camera out at the end. Baffling.

‘Guildo hat euch lieb’, Germany, 1998

I think someone needs to have a word with our Guildo. He’s jumping around the stage, hanging off the set, and getting the audience involved. He looks more suited to being a Blackpool cabaret act than a global superstar, but you can’t win ’em all! At least we can take comfort in the fact that Liberace’s stylist is still in work.

‘We Are The Winners’, Lithuania, 2006

The risk you run when you perform a song so cocky is that you’ll look like idiots when you don’t actually win. Funnily enough, ‘We Are The Winners’ wasn’t the winning song in 2006. On the left, a lookalike of Masterchef’s Gregg Wallace  is a highlight, remaining calm and collected throughout the performance, only to descend into madness at 1:34 when he begins to dance like a crab on acid before slowly shambling back to his microphone stand.

‘Hard Rock Hallelujah’, Finland, 2006

2006’s winners Lordi were criticised at the time because their song wasn’t a pop song – it was metal. Allegedly. Demons are always cool, but they’re always cooler when they’re in a band. You wouldn’t want to bump into these in an alleyway, but still, check out those wings towards the end!

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